An Open Letter to My Granddaughter

 Dear Rebekah:

Now you are a matron, I think you and your husband should be aware of our Senior Dress Code.

While not mandatory for you at this time, not too long after your baby becomes a toddler you should have this immediately available so you may refer to it from time to time.

These rules may become mandatory for you as you add further to your offspring, especially if you produce twins.

Be sure and keep this in a safe place.

Since Michelle is capable of finding herself in a similar position, I am sending her a copy. Those cold Winters in England lead to more then just bundling under those many blankets. I am sure she will need access to this information in the not so distant future.

Love to ya both,

GP
(Grandpa)

SENIOR DRESS CODE

Many of us "Older Folk" are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

    And last, but not least . . my personal favorite:

13. Thongs and Depends

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your
mind when you shop.